America's Got Talent: Derelict Edition

                 
      I walk the streets of Waikiki quite regularly and I'm always interested in the street performers, and
what sort of talent they bring to the otherwise painfully hot and crowded sidewalks of Kalakaua Avenue. I
certainly think we all appreciate the random acts and abilities of the beggar who offers to at least try to give
something back.  However, it has come to my attention that a tragic lack of effort and rehearsal has been
plaguing the quality of the Waikiki circuit.  A simply reprehensible disregard for discipline and blatant
disrespect to those who have juggled frying pans and stolen Chris Angel's tricks before them.  These
tattered-rag-clad street jesters need a reason to up the ante, to fulfill their God-given potential to entertain
tacky tourists for 30-second intervals, and though it may be impossible to ever leave them wanting more, to at
least have them walk away without regretting the time they spent.
             What they need is: America's got Talent: Derelict Edition.
A solid internet blog resource for critiquing the efforts and informing the viewers which street corners have the
quality acts, and which should be skipped over with a haughty scoff.  I plan to hit the streets to interview the
performers, illuminate the stories behind their great success, including how they got their
big break/demoralizing tumble into street stardom. And of course, showcasing their undeniable talents.
              The idea began as I walked down Kalakaua this past week and began to remember the week I spent in NYC nearly ten years ago, and the quality and presentation the street performers displayed.  For example: I remember a 6-man dance routine of a style that eventually prompted shows like America's Best Dance Crew, or a singer/songwriter who was akin to Jewel, at least in technique and spirit. As I continued down the street, I saw a performer with no shirt on who was playing a Michael Jackson song and balancing a broom on the palm of his hand.  Yes, that's right, he took a broom, turned it upside down and tried to impress those passing by doing what any 13 year-old with a chore-list he dreads completing will do to distract his mother. During the intervals in which he had to rest his weary nerves from the unimaginable focus
needed to perform such a feat, the man would sweep the ground around him as an encore, to show his
spectators that he did truly know the intended purpose of the item, and that his performance was only a jest.
 The best part of the show, from my vantage point, was that he hadn't practiced enough to actually balance the broom on his hand for any considerable length of time, and thus he provoked the passersby to want to grab it and show off to him. As a disclaimer to those who feel the misfortune of others does not deserve a critique, it should be noted that I have been homeless and that Honolulu is truly a homeless man's paradise. Average per capita income for the indigent falls in the 98th percentile nationwide. Welfare and social services benefits available for a single, childless male top $550/month.  And of course there are an abundance of sandy
dreamscapes in which to lay yourself down to sleep. (Not to mention that if you ever need a 40 oz and you
don't have the flow, one can be had in a hour or less by collecting cans and bottles from the bars in Waikiki
and walking them to the recycling center less than half a mile away)  With his permission, I will try to capture
this death-defying broom act on video (hopefully with flaming bristles) or at least in photo form for my next
blog, and I will chronicle the story of the man behind the magic and introduce the next contestant on America's Got Talent: Derelict Edition


John VanMoorleghem